sunday

waiting for her to call
sitting on futon
wearing a 90 dollar t shirt
i used to think i was cool for buying stuff like that
now i think it makes me a little bit lame
i saw cocaine today
i have never liked cocaine
it was always pretty annoying and uncomfortable for me
but i saw some today
and my brain just felt like it was being dragged across rocks or something
i wanted not to be sober
more than anything
but
i stepped outside
thought about the summer
thought about where i could be next year
thought about how i have to be strong to have the things that i really want
and everything was okay
everything was good
its really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes

im not a self righteous guy
im just a soulful dude

keep going,
atmosh