new domain URL

i just thought i should change it for privacy reasons

yup yup
so im at work
myspacing
started my taper on suboxone
starting to feel some withdrawal symptoms
not too bad though
no cravings
and i think cravings are the worst
oh
i found a place in the city
kinda small
but it has a walk in closet
and its cheap
only 600/month

got a new pair of jeans

yep its true
you heard the rumors
i got new jeans
dark denim
tight as your parents
and theyre on my legs
they look nice
you know what song is the jam?
its called "heartbeats" by a band called "the Knife"
if you like catchy techno with weird noises with bjorky vocals
yep itz zeh jahm

opiates control my mind
seriously
never ever try any opiate
unless you want to find out what the best feeling is the world is
i cant remember anything as happy, fulfilling, & wholly satisfying as oxycontin
it doesnt feel like a drug
the feelings it creates feel totally organic
but you have to realize that they arent
and you are stealing and cheating just to get a fix
wow
i thought this was going top be a happy post
well there you go

Suboxone

it has been a week and a half since my last dose of oxy contin
i feel almost normal again
i dont think i could have ever done this without suboxone
this has been by far the hardest thing i have ever done


so I found a place
pretty nice
with some college students
pretty cheap for the city
oh shet
and yeah
i forgot to tell you
....
i got a nintendo DS!
yup
just been playing pokemon nonstop
seriously
pokemon diamond is pretty hard in the beginning

out of the woods

lying down
holy shit
it has been
a hellish couple of days
but today
i can eat again
which is fun
i kinda missed eating
also
i can actually think now
think thoughts
and i can get out of the house without crying
well most of the time

the last pick up

so i saw my man for the last time
agent M15 as i like to call him
yes so

the last pick up

it was a cold and windy night in san francisco, the city of love
rollin down the street in dark blue volvie
heated seats ablaze left our bountiful busty badass asses balmy and gratified
atm
two hundred and twenty dollars
handshake
drive
peel
crush
comb
sssssssssssniff
high.

clinic

lets start from the start


i need help
i find out about suboxone
suboxone blocks opiates while reducing cravings and withdrawal symptoms

go on their website
find a list of all the doctors in the bay area that offer suboxone treatment
call all of them
earliest appointment that i can get is january 20th
i call one of them back to ask for pricing and it turns out that someone canceled an appointment
i make an appointment for nov 6th

okay
thats the first part
so
i went there last thursday and everything looked good
i told the doctor how much i take and he said it was very manageable
but i had to go ot kaiser to get some blood tests done
and kaiser
wow
kaiser
is horrible
so disorganized
i had to go to so many different buildings to get the tests ordered and certified and approved and
just a bunch of seemingly unnecessary shit
a hospital themed scavenger hunt


anyway thats all done
and i start taking suboxone this coming tuesday
hopefully it goes well
wish me luck

laying down

where
marmar's bed

wearimg
very short blue silk running shorts (victoria's secret)

watching
the royal tenenbaums
first time
kinda

wendy is very very annoying
this is a person
and she is a person
who is
i just dont understand how someone can live their life being so oblivious to their own incredible suckyness
also
she is not smart

ate
pizza
"yeah, well, what did you get on yo slice, big t?"
well sir or madam, i was get
well
in papjohns pizza code
it would be

BO+PE+ON+SL
that
's
peprrrrrrony "yes" blahck olives "vampire" awnyanz "onions" salamy


k back to the movie
more later
oh
if you see this
tell me what you think of the new title picture with the font

wow
im nodding off right now
so tired
until next time

sad post!

so m is in the bathroom so i thought i would make a quickie post
so i havent said this on here but
i want this to be
absolute truth
i am a drug addict
i am addicted to oxy contin
i take about 300mg a day
thats $150.00 a day
i need help
and im getting help
im going to a doctor this thursday
hopefully it will go well
so i think i lost christina
seriously
im not sure what anything means
apperantly im not worth remembering

the art of life, i

t="i had sekks wirth a gorrllla in zeh forest last week."
m-"why?"
t-"becauze iz waz hawt."


and now a haiku about my life

laying on my back
a bed, a pillow, a sheet
hey martha, want some skittles?

and there you are